Practice, kindness, happiness

"What ought one to say then as each hardship comes? I was practicing for this, I was training for this." - Epictitus

Often time's when hardship's arrive, we are tempted to react in our old conditioned ways. Personally, when I get nervous, anxious or fearful, I get hard, mean and downright rude. Most often I behave in this way with the person's I love most.

That is where practice and awareness come in. During daily meditation practice, I can really immerse myself in the opposite emotions of selfishness and meaness- these being kind gentleness. If I practise this often enough, when confronted with an anxious situation, I can be aware of my temptation to be mean and hardened. Once aware, I can CHOOSE to be kind, and gentle and make light of the seemingly tough situation. I can hug and laugh with the other stressed out persons, making the situation lighter and calmer, as opposed to becoming angry, closed and mean.

One thing that has come to my mind-that i hope to ponder on a little while it this: The purpose of my life is to seek happiness- what makes me happy?- Well, its the genuine feeling of kindness, peace, love, compassion, gentleness, awareness, understanding, tolerance, calm, and joy at each and every moment in my life, toward myself and others is what makes me truly happy. The life situations I am presented with are simply the content, and unimportant to these genuine states I choose to be in.
So simply, my happiness is really only upto me.

So in reality, whom I am with, where i am, what I have, or what others think of me, or whom I think I am, are completely irrelevant to my purpose in life, to my state of happiness.