"Until we learn to take care of ourselves, our lives are in the hands of Egocentric Karmic Conditioning. In reality nobody wants to "grow up". In awareness practise "growing up" takes a whole new direction. Not only will you be "grown up" in the sense of taking responsiblity for yourself and life, you will do it from consciousness and compassion, making centered choices in the moment rather than remaining stuck in the conditioned reactions from the past. This is a better approach ot life than the ever popular strategy of manipulating someone else into taking care of you." Cheri Huber (Making a change for good-A guide to compassion and self-discipline)
Essentially to me this sums up my life in a nutshell. I have made structure, discipline, rules, and "the way things should be and need to be" my way of life. In the bargain I have missed seeing and experiencing things, people, life, the world for the way they really are at the moment. Who makes these rules, who says this is the way it should be, this is the right way. We don't read a rule book on life which dictates this do we? No, it is we who make these tough hard to abide by rules for ourselves and our lives based on our social and karmic conditioning. As we grow up in this social world we try to fit in and be accepted thereby slowing giving up who we really are and what we really feel, and what we really want, for who we need to be, or should be etc.. In the long run this becomes a way of life and we cannot remember how to open our mind beyond that which is dictated by this set of "rules and conditions".
Well what if I decide I no longer abide by the rules, they do not and no longer apply to me or my life. Well, at first there is an immense struggles, suffering and anxiety pangs (believe me, I have been there, its not pleasant), but as we persevere, and recommit over and over again, life becomes fascinating, new, ever changing, open, magical and simply amazing.
Speaking for myself, at any given moment, with an open mind and heart and being present here and now, I am never bored, lonely, depressed, restless, tired, or angry. Instead my mind feels stimulated, energized, happy, playful and smiling. My imaginative and creative heart is open to everything that wishes to come in and go out.
One last thing- in my conditioned way of life, there were two main items which I used to hold onto. These were "guilt" and "obligation". They were the two processes I used, in order to have a relationship with everything and everyone. Well, with the renunciation of my conditioned mind, these have no space in my life, I have released guilt and obligation out from my life, they have been carried away from me by the wind.
Now, I do what I want, when I want it, not having to explain or feel bad for being me. Furthermore, I only expect and assume the same of everyone and everything in my life.
Afterall, it is said; once the Wizard speaks, he never explains himself or apologizes.
It is a very freeing way of life, I promise you that!
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